ROYGBIV

So it's been a while since I've talked about my drag career. It's going. Can't say I'm a top notch performer yet, but it will take some time. I'm doing alright for myself. I have two drag Daughters Lola Martinez and Tiffany Martinez. They're beautiful, both are wonderful entertainers. Here's some pics of me. I'm going to get going....Stay cute everyone!

It has been a while since I've posted a blog of any sort. And lately, something has been pressing me due to a conversation between a friend and I. We were discussing my current boyfriend and he was pressing me to say I love him. Being that we were together for a month, I do not feel this is appropriate yet for a lot of reasons. This pressed me to do a blog on the topic of love and relationships.

First off I want to say that there is a major difference in love and in love. And I think too many times, people rushing things overlook those differences. They only loving the person, think they are in love, when in fact, they aren't. There.is a lot to put into play when deciding on love for a person.

Do I love my boyfriend? of course! I love everyone til they give me a reason not to. That's just who I am. However, I do not feel that I am in love with him. And rightfully so....seeing as we are a fresh relationship, we can't possibly be in love. But why do people feel the need to rush these things? I sure don't hate him. But I am not in love with him.

I think that people need to be more careful in the speed of the movement of the relationship? It really explains divorce rate and heart break rate. So people, lets start thinking a little more before we rush things with people. Even when you've been together a long time, you still NEVER fully know a person.

I haven't blogged in forever, let's see what's new....hmmmmm......


So, Lila Signs is officially alive. I'll post pics. I think she's doing amazing for the short 2 weeks she's been doing it, and can't wait to see what she'll become in the future.


I am doing shows at Bottoms Up in Lakewood, Ohio, under the direction of the mot fabulous queen I know, Erica Martinez. We are even talking of me becoming her daughter! I am totally excited about that! I knew the minute I decided to become a Drag Queen, that I wanted to be apart of her family, and I knew the answer before she even asked. The complication comes in in the area of dancing. I don't. My friend, Christopher, is going to help me in that area. I also have my friend Ryan, who will be helping me by mixing tracks for me to perform. My friends have REALLY pulled together to help me in this. I have a few coworkers and regular guests that have been totally supportive, and yes, even some who are complete two faced bitches and can't say to my face what they do to everyone else behind my back. But I'll find that anywhere.

I am looking for a new job, since Target doesn't want to accommodate my needs. I really love my job at Starbucks. But when something doesn't pay the bills, it's time for a change. And Lila is expensive!

I think I'm just going to end this blog. Later

I was just talking to a friend of mine, and I thought of a topic to blog about. This is something I told my parents when I first came out, and it seemed to help mend things a little.

You know, I am completely against coming out of the closet. Hell, I'm against having to be in one in the first place! Let's put this into perspective! If people would start minding their own business, our sexuality wouldn't be an issue. I mean, why does it matter anyway?! If you're not planning on sleeping with me, then my choice of partner shouldn't matter to you! This is why I have a hard time with family that won't speak to me over my sexuality. Did I change your mind? Did you have a sick fantasy of wanting to sleep with me? Is incest your thing? I didn't think so. SO GET OVER IT!!!!!

So, in order to attempt to make school happen, I need money. And the one way I have found to make this happen, was to become a Drag Queen. While I haven't TOTALLY made up my mind, I am entertaining the idea. So far I'm pretty sure I'm going to do it. Lila Signs is my name and I will explain why. Anyone who has followed my blog for any length of time knows I'm an interpreter for the deaf. So of course, I had to add my own twist on DQ's, and I am a Drag Queen for the Deaf. I have spoken to Erica Martinez, the best Drag Queen I've ever known, and she is going to take me under her wing and help me get started. Yes, this includes a girls day out shopping :D

Now, as for the name. There is this movie called "Latter Days" and it's about this closeted gay who was a mormon missionary and was found out when he and his gay lover were walked in on. He was sent home where his family hated and resented him and he couldn't take it so he slit his wrists. He was not successful in suicide, so they stuck him in a facility to brainwash him and change his sexuality. But he escaped and ran back to the man he loved. The restaurant owner where his lover worked was called Lila's. And so I put that together with what sets me apart from other Drag Queens and came up with Lila Signs.

So there's my biggest news. Add me on Facebook by clicking on my Drag Name throughout this post. Pics will be posted there and even videos.

So, I was just sitting here. And many thoughts were popping in my head. Many memories from the past, everyone of them good ones, things that make me smile, but yet, they make me cry. Why is that I can't just be happy over things that were good. My little buddy Ryan, saying his first word, taking his first step. My first piano student Brendan, also my buddy, playing his first song at the church in front of everyoone and not messing up. Baking cookies with my grandmother, memories I have with my brother who is also my best friend, and yet everytime I think of them, I cry. Why can't I just be happy? Why am I saddened about things that make me smile and feel warm? What is wrong with me?

Sorry I've not blogged in so long. It's been a while, I know. Life can be a bitch at times. I've been going through a lot of depression, mainly because I've been going through a lot of guys. It seems that it doesn't matter how good of a man I try to be, nobody sees me for it. I know that I'm kind of a pretty boy. And I know that some people aren't attracted to that, but I don't stay cute by neglecting my appearance. And I know that my appearance is not everything, but it is however who I am as a person. Unfortunately, not all of us are born naturally beautiful. Wow, that a weird tangent I didn't intend to go on.

Anyway, I'm seeing so much of the gay community, and it never ceases to amaze me, the number of guys who think that, there's no sense in looking for the one true love, cause we can't marry anyway. Or that are so wrapped up in sex, and pleasure, that they are too blind to see the good things that are right in front of them. In the mean time, not only are they hurting themselves, but they're hurting many around them, who really are looking for that one person!

My question is, what is love? I mean, for real! Define it! So many people throw that word around like a seal among killer whales,; "I love roast beef", "I love pencils!", "I love hamburger!". But really, let's define love. No, not by dictionary, but in your own words, define love. I don't want to hear any quotes from any sort of literature...I want to hear YOUR definition! Better yet, I want to see it, feel it...experience it. Let's practice showing people what TRUE LOVE really is! Class dismissed, if anyone out there has any class left!