ROYGBIV

So, I was just sitting here. And many thoughts were popping in my head. Many memories from the past, everyone of them good ones, things that make me smile, but yet, they make me cry. Why is that I can't just be happy over things that were good. My little buddy Ryan, saying his first word, taking his first step. My first piano student Brendan, also my buddy, playing his first song at the church in front of everyoone and not messing up. Baking cookies with my grandmother, memories I have with my brother who is also my best friend, and yet everytime I think of them, I cry. Why can't I just be happy? Why am I saddened about things that make me smile and feel warm? What is wrong with me?